My Stories

  I don’t remember, how did it all begun.  What I do remember, is being pushed out, or down, or something, physically pushed against my want, out here, into this reality.  Frankly, I am pretty sure there was no beginning.  I think it just sort of spirals, like double helices, lots of them, without beginning, and without end. 

So, I was pushed out down , and here I am, although from the beginning of that phase I did realize something was missing.  I tried to go back, then - every time - I remember the fear inside: I am falling, and again I fail to remember that which was is will be the only important information! 

Usually, I tried to go back (or was it just to remember?) when I was in my bed.  That was the only time guaranteed I was alone, only time I was sure no one would try to talk to me, the only time guaranteed no one would notice.  It would be almost dark, and I would almost get there, or even get there, and then I would fall back here, and there was fear, and there I was, again not remembering anything except that I was supposed to remember something from there, from before here, but I could not.  And it seemed that no one no one no one!  Not one single person here remembered.  Or knew.  Or suspected.  Perhaps I came from a different place than everyone else?  Why no one knows?  Perhaps I should keep it a secret?  I think I better…….

Do not take me wrong:  I came to the most wonderful family anyone could ever imagine.  My Mom - what a being!  A fantastic Dad, great Brother, even though a life as a little sister was not always easy.


Look - I was really a happy little person most of the time!  But so fearful and scared.